A Quick (and Horrifying) Rundown of the Fucking CIA Torture Report



The Senate Intelligence Committee released a goddamned heart-wrenching report on Tuesday that details the sick and inhuman torture employed in counterterrorism efforts during the administration of President George W. Bush. You can read the full report here (PDF).

Here’s some of the fucking things we have to go to sleep tonight knowing:

  1. A detainee died as a result of “enhanced interrogation” ( torture.) The CIA refused disciplinary sanctions on the interregator.
  2. The techniques were far more brutal than previously fucking known. Multiple CIA detainees subjected to the techniques suffered from hallucinations, paranoia, insomnia and tried to mutilate themselves. God bless America!
  3. Interrogation practices included waterboarding, extended exposure to cold temperatures, slapping, and sleep deprivation for 100+ hours straight. In many cases, the most aggressive techniques were used immediately, in combination and non-stop.
  4. The CIA would fucking torture people before they even tried asking them to cooperate. They just rolled up and fucking tortured them.
  5. They were fucking dumbasses who didn’t know what they were doing. That’s why no usable information came out of the goddamn program. The people running it were imbeciles. We paid them 81 million fucking dollars.
  6. There were 28+ innocent goddamned people tortured by the CIA for no benefit, including a “intellectually challenged man” used as leverage to get information from a family member.
  7. CIA interrogators objected to the torture but were told to keep going by the goddamned senior officials.
  8. The CIA put hummus in a fucking detainee’s rectum. A waste of hummus, and an affront to basic fucking humanity.
  9. The CIA has created a goddamned whole generation of people who have a good reason to hate the United States, and now terrorism against the west is going to fucking exist forever unless serious action is taken to remedy this injustice and deliver self-determination and support to the middle east.
  10. The CIA lied about this because they’re fucking assholes.


The famous study “The Stanford Prison Experiment” might shed light on how this could ever fucking happen in the first place.


The questions on everyone’s mind:

  • What can we do to stop this from ever happening again?
  • How do we make sure those responsible are held accountable?
  • Why is the guy who revealed this to the press the one who went to jail?
  • Why god? Why? Why hummus? What the fuck?


Attribution: This article is an amplified remix of these two articles. Remix it and repost at will.

Shawn Vulliez

Shawn is the most X person sitting at the Y table. Amplification journalist, cartoonist, and former leader of the Pirate Party of Canada. As of this writing he still has faith in humanity.

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